i aint helpless, aint hopeless..
trying very hard in my own sweet time to come back..
there is heart i have to take care off..
i cant hurt it again..
no matter how i want it..
i have to be patient and calm..
because this heart is not ready yet..
to face the challenge again..
i dun want to hurt it again.
at the time when it is still hurting...
the wound is still healing..
even though the bleeding had stop..
i cant make it bleed again..
i dun want to face the same thing all over again
as i dun want the illness left as an illness only
there is hikmah behind that..
that i want to turn bad into good..
by His will..
so my friend...my sahabat..
i never stop...so please dun cry.
please dun cry for me..
because all u see only within ur eyes and ears..
if u open ur heart...u know that i am still struggling.
on my own sweet time..
i aint jealous of u guys anymore as i do before..
because i start to feel the love again..
i want to feel the love again..
the love of Our God..
i knew the existance but it is beyond my empty heart..
so my friend..please dun cry.
i love my self...i love my future..
i will not want to end up in hell..u gotta remember that..
that is why i'm doing things i'm doing now..
i cant go on pretending i'm okay..
i can't go on as a strong daie
when inside i'm dying...
because u are not my judge..
because He is my Judge..
as His judgement including my heart..
so i gotta make my heart strong again..
i dun want people get confused when i sent to hell,
because i want to go to heaven with pure heart.
now my heart is still healing..
so i gotta give it a chance..
so friend...stop crying for me..
u lose no one...when Allah swt is with u..
Allah swt knows us better so please dont cry..
cos i still love myself...so please dont cry..